The price of love? Losing two of your closest friends!!

星期六, 二月 12, 2011

一次恋爱=失去两个好朋友?

Research reveals that, on average, having a new romantic partner pushes out two close friends from your inner circle
研究发现,从平均来看,拥有一位新的恋人,将失去两个亲密的朋友。

Falling in love comes at the cost of losing close friends, because romantic partners absorb time that would otherwise be invested in platonic relationships, researchers say.
研究人员称,坠入爱河的代价是失去两个亲密的朋友,因为你的恋人会占据本该被投入朋友之间相处的时间。

A new partner pushes out two close friends on average, leaving lovers with a smaller inner circle of people they can turn to in times of crisis, a study found.
研究发现,人们谈一次恋爱平均会失去两个亲密的朋友,使得他们身处困境时可以求助的好朋友更少。

The research, led by Robin Dunbar, head of the Institute of Cognitive and Evolutionary Anthropology at Oxford University, showed that men and women were equally likely to lose their closest friends when they started a new relationship.
这项由罗宾·邓巴(牛津大学人类认知与进化协会会长)带头的研究表明不管是男人还是女人,开始一段新的恋情都会失去一些最亲密的朋友。

Previous research by Dunbar's group has shown that people typically have five very close relationships – that is, people whom they would turn to if they were in emotional or financial trouble.
邓巴的团队在之前的研究发现人们通常有五个非常亲密的朋友——在你身处情感危机或是财政危机时能求助的人。

"If you go into a romantic relationship, it costs you two friends. Those who have romantic relationships, instead of having the typical five 'core set' of relationships only have four. And of those, one is the new person who's come into their life," said Dunbar.
“你去谈恋爱的代价是失去两个好朋友。那些谈恋爱的人,没有典型的五个最亲密的朋友的关系,而只有四个,并且其中一位是位新人,要融入到其他朋友的生活中”,邓巴说。

The study, submitted to the journal Personal Relationships, was designed to investigate how people trade off spending time with one person over another and suggests that links with family and closest friends suffer when people start a romantic relationship.
这项投给《人际关系期刊》的研究意在调查人们如何分配自己与人交往的时间,它表明了与家人和好朋友的关系在人们谈恋爱时会受到影响。

Dunbar's team used an internet-based questionnaire to quiz 428 women and 112 men about their relationships. In total, 363 of the participants had romantic partners. The findings suggest that a new love interest has to compensate for the loss of two close friends.
邓巴的团队利用网络问卷调查了428位女士和112位男士的交际圈子,共有363位参与者有恋人。调查结果表明恋情必须以失去两个亲密的朋友为代价。

Speaking at the British Science Festival in Birmingham, Professor Dunbar said: "This was a surprise for us. We hadn't expected it.
邓巴博士在英国科学上发言时称:“结果真令人惊讶,我们没料到这样。”

"If you don't see people, your emotional engagement with them drops off and does so quickly. What I suspect is that your attention is so wholly focused on the romantic partner you don't get to see the other folks you had a lot to do with before, and so some of those relationships start to deteriorate."
“如果你不见你的朋友,你们的关系会很快冷淡。我猜想这是因为你将全部精力投入到你的恋人身上,你无暇顾及跟你之前来往密切的朋友,所以你和某些朋友的关系开始变得冷淡。”
The questionnaire allowed people to mention whether any of their closest confidants were "extra romantic partners". In all, 32 of those quizzed mentioned having an extra love interest in their life, but these people did not lose four friends as might be expected. Instead, the extra person in their life bumped their original romantic partner out of their innermost circle of friends.
这份网络问卷允许被调查者填写是否他们的密友中包括他们的恋人。一共有32个人提到他们的恋人是生活中的密友,但是这些人并没有像预料的那样失去四个朋友,相反,新的恋人会将之前的恋人挤出他们的朋友圈子。

In a separate study, Dunbar's team looked at how men and women maintained friendships on the social networking website Facebook. They found that women's Facebook friends were more often friends from everyday life that they spent time with, while men tended to collect as many friends as they could, even if they hardly knew them.
在另一个单独的研究中,邓巴的团队调查男人和女人在Facebook上如何联系朋友发现,女人的Facebook上的朋友都是平日里在一起的朋友,而男人却倾向于加上尽量多的朋友,即使他们几乎不认识对方。

"Boys seem to be in a competition to see who can have the most Faccebook friends and that could be a form of mate advertisting. One of the cues women use for male quality as a mate is the number of other girls chasing them, so signing up lots of girls as Facebook friends seems to be a good idea," said Dunbar.
“男孩们似乎在竞争看谁的Facebook上好友最多,以此来宣传自己。女人用男人被多少人追来作为评判男人质量的标准之一,因此加更多的女性为好友不失为一个(宣传自己的)好主意”,邓巴说。

WUA SAYS:for me, this scenerio wont stay long, maybe 3 month, 6 month, for even 1 year.
but friendship is still important for everyone. nobody want to be enemy/forgot each other.

So Guy/Girls!  Call/SMS/Facebook/BBM ur friend now!

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